That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Randomize
