I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
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