I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
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