I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
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