its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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