I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
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