I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize