To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Randomize
