kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Randomize
