I wanna bring you to show and tell
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
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