Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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