You smell like stripper and shame
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
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