It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
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