Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
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