She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
