I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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