i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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