maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Randomize
