I wanna bring you to show and tell
I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
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