I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
