we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Randomize
