You're my little dorito
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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