judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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