The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
