can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
My penis needs a shock collar
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
