i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
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