we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
the condom got lost in my hair
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
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