eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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