I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
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