I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
