Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Randomize
