yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
