I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
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