living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
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