I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
