I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
