i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
