At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize