I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Randomize
