I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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