No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
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