i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
