does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
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