I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
My vagina is very pro this idea
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
