so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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