you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
