WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
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