im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
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