I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Randomize
