i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Randomize