Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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