I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I feel great
I just peed on a car
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize
