It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
I cut my penus on the lid.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
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