just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize