well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
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