So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Randomize
