i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
wow bdsm is so cute
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
