Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Randomize
