I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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