LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Is that strawberry winking at me??
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
