it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Found the puke drawer
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
I just want nice things and good sex
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
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