At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
We talked him into tasing himself.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
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