oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
