I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Someone shattered a urinal.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
