Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
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