then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Houston, we have a squirter
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
