I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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