My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
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