good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Your cock deserves a montage
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Randomize
